The Parable of the Rings of Saturn

I grew up believing that Saturn had rings. I learned this from various teachers, my parents, and probably a few television shows. I had no reason to doubt. I just trusted others who seemed to know.

Then one day I took a class in Astronomy. I had a teacher who had a wonderful tool; a telescope. One the size that I had never used before. I was able to look inside this amazing thing and see these beautiful rings that I had learned so much about. I could see them with my own eyes! Oh, they were astounding! I had never realized that I could ever see them for myself! I sat and stared at them for several minutes, not wanting to give the telescope to the next person in line. I wanted so desperately to study their beauty longer. I had to let go of it. But at that moment, I chose to find out more about the rings that other people had studied. Many had much stronger telescopes that I did not have access to. Their pictures were staggering! There was absolutely no doubt in my mind that these rings exist.

Later, I have found out how fast these rings move, what they are made out of, and how thick of a band they are. I determined all these things from others who have studied and have stronger telescopes than I have been able to aquire in my life.

As the years have passed, I still know that there are rings on Saturn. I may not be able to see them right this minute because I do not have a powerful telescope in my hands. But I still know that these rings exist. I know this.

But there are many people who have tried to tell me lately that these rings do not exist, that all these scientists are wrong. That they are imaginary rings. They try to tell me that I am foolish for believing that they are there. I have tried to take them to a planetarium so that they too can see them for themselves but they have refused to look. They feel that they don't want to know for themselves if there truly are rings on Saturn. Just that all of us who believe are irrational and cannot think for ourselves.

It makes me very sad that everyone can't see these rings for themselves. They are magnificent! And I am not the fool, for I have seen them.

Idiots in the Rain

I had to share this. It is POURING down rain and they are moving an uncovered mattress. I think their bed will stink for a while!

Craig's Big Fat Mess

Craig, making a big fat mess!
But soon we'll have water again and I can take a shower! Yippee!!!!

Pictures of Naked Ladies

OK. I promised pictures of the Naked Ladies when they came open. I know they are hard to see in this picture but my battery on my camera went out as I was taking these pictures so this is the best one for now.

It seems that they were not planted too deep because I pulled a bit of the fallen leaves away from their bases and discovered that they are sitting right on top of the ground. Evidently, the bud comes up near the ground then grows tall before opening.

What a sight! I sure hope they keep visiting me each year in the future. Now I need to plant something pretty under them so they don't look quite so naked.

Oops!!!

Oops!!! I think Craig got just a wee too close to the barn with his new tractor! What do you think? Poor Craig!Evidence of white paint on the bucket! Oh, well! Maybe it will be torn down sooner than we expected!

Naked Ladies

I brought home 5 Naked Ladies (they're plants, boys!) from my mom's house back in 2002 and planted them in my flowerbed. They always had really pretty greens on them in the winter but never bloomed. About 3 years ago one of them had one little bloom on it but I never saw or heard from it again till today! All five plants have buds on them! I guess it was the rain that we've had this past week. I can't wait to see what they look like when they bloom. My luck, we'll have another drought and they will just die completely.

One of the buds looks like I may have planted it too deep. The bud is barely above the ground. But several of them have more than one blossom. Yea!!!!

I'll post pics when they bloom.

My Personal Beliefs

I don't like to drink alcohol. I don't like people who do drink. Drunks act like fools and I prefer not to associate with them, at least not while they are drinking. I voted the sale of alcohol in my town down and prefer not to have liquor stores in my neighborhood. I will vote against sales again this fall. If you look at areas that sell liquor, they are nearly always surrounded by pawn shops, check cashing stores, bums begging for change, and graffiti. Stereotype? Maybe. But look around.
I live in an area where there is not much for the teen aged kids to do. Alcohol seems to be the past time of choice. Anytime there is a wreck, it nearly always involves alcohol. People who choose to drive while intoxicated should be executed (Well, not executed, but SEVERELY punished). If you are going to drink, at least be smart about it and get a designated driver or drink at home. And stop allowing our children access to it.

I don't like smoking. I don't like to hang around people who do smoke. They stink, and they make ME stink. I picked up a soda in a convenience store where someone was smoking and my darned coke smelled like cigarettes! Quit! If you must smoke, go somewhere where I don't have to smell it or get it on my clothes or food. If you were to save your money from smoking, just how much richer would you be? Figure it out. And let me be able to breathe.

I believe that prostitution should continue to be illegal. I don't like topless joints and won't be involved in a relationship with someone who frequents them. I don't want topless joints in my neighborhood nor prostitutes on the doorstep to the businesses that I shop at. I don't believe pornography has a place in this world. The teenagers of today are involved in way too much sex and they don't have a clue what they are in for. Their attitudes disgust me.

I don't believe in abortion. That is a child, no matter what your argument is. It is a living human being. It is murder. Give the baby to someone who desperately wants one. And use birth control. There's really no excuse. (Unless, of course, the mother's health is at risk. TOTALLY different story)

If you do choose to have children, TAKE CARE OF THEM! Their needs are more important than yours right now. If you just can't stand their mother/father then pay your child support. If you are not the custodial parent, stop questioning where the lousy $100 went. It costs a WHOLE lot more than people realize to raise a child. Bills tend to pile up when school clothes need to be bought, or new shoes, or Christmas comes around, or school pictures, or new shoes, or baseball fees, Halloween costumes/parties/candy, new shoes, Valentines cards, Easter egg hunts, new shoes, replacing lost school books, etc. etc. etc! The list is ENDLESS! People who don't pay their child support rank right up there with child molesters in my book. I believe that people who don't pay their child support payments should be brought up on charges of neglect to a child. If you are a friend of mine and don't pay child support, you better not let me know about it because I will turn your butt in (And you probably won't be my friend much longer).

I believe marriage should be between a man and a woman. I have a very sacred ordinance in my religion that involves the sealing of a man to a woman and their children. There are males, and there are females, and they were each created differently and with a different purpose. If gay marriages are legalized then my ordinance would become unconstitutional and I would be forced to change this ordinance to accommodate them. This is the very core of my religion and it would disintegrate my entire belief. If gay people want something to show that they are committed to each other, why can't we have a "Union". Lets make "unions" legally binding and allow them every right under the law for benefits, including insurance and alimony. But please don't call it a marriage so that it does not infringe on my right to freedom of religion.

I try not to watch smut on TV. There are plenty of "good" movies out there that don't have garbage in them. I don't like excessive violence nor ill-humored jokes about men's wing-wangs. Grow up.

I believe in honesty. Every problem in our world today can be traced back to someone being dishonest. Greed for money and power all stem from dishonesty. If everyone were 100% honest, we wouldn't have to pay as much income tax, our government would think of our best interest, not theirs, we would all receive an honest pay for our work that we do, employers would receive a lot more work than what they get now, our welfare system could take care of us when we need it to, and our children would be smarter because we would have teachers who actually care about teaching.

This post is entitled "My Personal Beliefs". I did not post this so you could call me names or try to impose your view onto me. This is just very simply what I believe. But you are MORE than welcome to disagree with me!

Another shot

One more shot of the RED kitchen!Here is a "before" shot. I painted a big red splotch on the wall way back in January 2008 and chickened out. The red looked hot pink. But after about a week, it looked red. I bought some tinted primer which helped A LOT! It went on red from the beginning.
I didn't take many pictures in the kitchen because it was so ugly.

My RED Kitchen!

Here's a couple of pictures of my new kitchen. It looks better in person.

Alaska, Day 4, Juneau

Juneau was a really cool town. It is the Capital of Alaska, well at least right now. They voted to move the Capital to Anchorage but they don't have enough money to actually move it! So, for now, it stays in Juneau.

There are no roads that go in or out of Juneau. There are "dead end" signs and then the road just quits. There are only three ways to get to Juneau: boat, plane and birth canal!

The famous Red Dog Saloon is there and of course, we ate there. Pretty tiny place for it being so famous. But now I can say that I've been there.

More t-shirt shops and jewelry stores to go through. I think we hit them all, too. Got a great deal on an "Aurora Lights" necklace. I bought several necklaces here in Juneau. All gorgeous!

We took a bus to the Mendenhall Glacier about 10 minutes away. This was the first glacier that I've ever seen. Wow! I can't believe how majestic it was. It looked so grand and steady. I know that they move several feet per month and looking at it just sitting there in all its grandeur made me realize just how insignificant and tiny we all are. There are many buildings that will be crushed in the wake of the glaciers. But the Alaskans all know that and they are not deterred. They deal with Mother Nature and celebrate the changes that the world will go through.

After the Glacier trip, we headed up to the top of the mountain on the sky tram. I don't like heights, and when we started up the mountain, I was just fine. Yes, we were very, very high, but I was firmly attached to a little cable and was reasonably comfortable. Until... the tram stopped 5 feet from the platform. And just SAT there! My heart began racing, and I tried desperately to control my panic attack. We got to the platform, finally, and I was able to escape quickly. Deep breath. I'm fine. Phew!!!

Played with my camera a little while up on the mountain. I was able to take this panaramic view while up on the mountain. Wow! Beautiful!

Also saw another Bald Eagle in captivity. It had been shot in the eye and beak and couldn't take care of itself. HUGE! and BEAUTIFUL!!!!

We drove by Sarah Palin's house and saw the capitol building. I think Sarah's house was much more impressive than the capitol. I didn't see her though.

We learned that a bear had figured out how to stand in front of the automatic doors in front of a local grocery store in order to gain entrance and to be able to pilfer through the food.

I loved Juneau and will GLADLY return there someday.

Alaska, Day 3, Sitka

Oh! My favorite place in the whole world right now. Sitka houses about 9000 people. Most of their houses are on little bitty islands just big enough for a house and maybe a satellite dish. Everyone owns boats. Very few cars.

I LOVED this house. SO cool! We arrived in Sitka around 9am.We were not able to get the cruise ship near the docks in this town so we all had to shuttle back and forth in these little boats. They probably had about 50 people in them. On our way back to the ship the guy that was driving our little boat didn't know what he was doing. I also think the tides were working against him but it took us 25 minutes to get a rope attached to where ever it was supposed to go so we could get off. It was a joke. Everyone was getting upset and telling the driver how to do it but I don't think it was completely his fault. We would get very close and then we would bump off the side and that would send us back out away from the ship. Over and over and over again. Finally some supervisor got on and got us in. He was so mad at our pilot that he was shaking. I fear the pilot may have gotten fired that day. This is the view from town looking out into the "bay". Not really a bay, don't know what to call it. Fjord, maybe? Anyway, the ocean that has no waves because we're really inland a ways. You can see the huge cruise ship looming in the background.

We walked quite a ways to a National Forest that had lots of totem poles from the indigenous Indians. BEAUTIFUL!!!!

This is where we saw our first Bald Eagle up in a tree. He was flying around at one point. Bald Eagles have a wing span of 8 feet across. Hold your arms out and add 2 or 3 feet to them. They really are quite impressive.

We shopped at all the little stores there. Lots and lots of jewelry stores. The cruise ship gave us a book that had coupons in them for charms and collector's coins from various shops. It was like a huge scavenger hunt. We went from shop to shop asking for our free items. It was a blast. You had to collect them from all four ports of call to get the entire sets. The charms ended up spelling out "Alaska 09". We got 8 "gold" coins, 4 coasters, Christmas ornaments, hats, necklaces and I don't remember what else. All free. Whoo hoo!

We went all the way to Alaska and found a Mexican joint to eat at. We shopped till we literally dropped! We got back to the ship around 4ish. Of course you have to add a half hour for the guy to get us docked right. But we were exhausted. We went back to our rooms to rest, then to dinner at 6pm.

At 8:15 we watched the cruise director and assistant put on a Blues Brothers show. That was GREAT! They acted just like John Belushi & Dan Aykroyd. We also watched a magic show this night. He was stupid but funny. Silly, I guess is a better word. And stupid.

After the shows were over, we had to go upstairs so we could see just how dark it was. This picture was taken at 11pm! Crazy!!!

The following pictures were both taken at 10pm. Both the sun and the moon were up at the same time. I just couldn't get over that sun! Good thing we had a room with no windows. We took our handy dandy clock that shines up on the ceiling which helped tremendously. Only problem was, the only plug was down by our feet so the clock showed upside down. Not good when you think its 6 am but its really 9!

Alaska, Day 2, at Sea

I was exhausted from the travels the day before. I did not realize that we were going to be traveling through Glacier Bay at 6am. My biggest regret: I missed it! But I got to see a few glaciers with some small chunks of ice in the water. They were magnificent! That doesn't even describe them. We took the day trying to get to know the ship. "Trying" being the operative word. I don't think we EVER got it down. It was kinda fun, though, discovering all the things that were going to be available all week.

We all had to participate in an evacuation drill and try on all our life jackets. I think they all fit!
There was plenty of entertainment, like stuffing chickens between people's legs and hopping around like idiots. It was pretty funny though. Stupid, but funny.

We ended the day with a show with singers and dancers. It was quite entertaining. We thoroughly enjoyed our first full day aboard the Carnival Spirit.

Alaska, Day 1, Arrival, part 2

The 30 people that stay in Whittier during the winter go to a bunker house and stay in there all together to help each other stay alive (I guess). They usually can't come out due to the weather.

Alaska, Day 1, Arrival

I am going to attempt the daunting task of recreating our recent trip to Alaska. So much to mention! Thought I'd break it up into baby steps for myself.

First, Craig & I took Clipsie, the big black dog, to Bethany's house for the week. We ate at Wing Stop and then dropped the boys off at their mother's house. We spent the night at Grandma Dixon's house and woke up at 5am to leave for the airport by 5:30am for a 7:15 flight. Caught the flight without any problems. Got to Seattle where I expected mom and dad to be waiting for us. They were nowhere around. I called them on the cell phone and they were in a completely different terminal. Their tickets showed a departure gate that was not anywheres near where they were supposed to be. Lucky we got together and all was well. We had to shovel food in our mouths because we had less than 30 minutes until the next flight.

Here we all are having loads of fun on the airplane!

We arrived in Anchorage at 1:05pm Alaska time (that's 4:05pm Central Time). We found the Cruise people and stood in line to get our passes to get on the bus to Whittier, 1 1/2 hours away. We waited for about 45 minutes and were called. Mom and dad got on fine, but there were not enough seats for the rest of us. They gave out too many tickets, I guess. So mom and dad made their way to the ship while the rest of us waited another 45 minutes for the next bus.

On the drive to Whittier, we stopped at this near frozen lake for pictures. We had to wait for a few minutes anyway for the tunnel to open in our direction. There was a railroad track that was cut through the mountain a few years ago and recently, they let cars use it as well. This is 2 1/2 miles long and its a one way, and traffic switches every half hour. So traffic was stopped to let the other direction of traffic through.

We came into Whittier about 5pm or so. (Whittier time) The town has a population of 800 in the summer and about 30 in the winter. The first glimpse of the cruise ship was awesome.

By the time we ate at 6pm, I was exhausted! I couldn't stay awake ANY longer. I went to bed at 8:30 but Craig couldn't sleep. He stayed up by himself until midnight. He noted that the sky never did get dark. The sun went down, but it stayed dusk all night. Cool!

A Bit of a Predicament

OK. Craig and I were discussing the Air France airplane that went down in the Atlantic Ocean yesterday and realized that we might be in a bit of a predicament. He has life insurance through his work. I am his beneficiary. But if we both die together, he has two people listed that are joint benificiaries: his mom and my mom.

Hmmm..... What happens if we all die together? We will all be on the same plane from Seattle to Anchorage.

He says that Sharon has to step up and show everyone this blog and be the benificiary and take care of all the kids equally and fairly. (Sorry, Sharon. That's an aweful big responsibility.) But he definately does not want his ex-wife to receive anything. The money is to go to the kids. Not her. Hope nothing happens, but if it does, well, here is his last will and testiment.

You can bury me with my life insurance. Won't be able to do much else with it.

That Darned Cat!

I washed a sweater that needed to lie flat to dry. This is what I woke up to this morning! Aaaarrrgggggghhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

Turner Falls

Yesterday we took the day off from everything and went to Turner Falls in Oklahoma. Although the park was FILLED to the max with people that only go out camping on Memorial Day Weekend with extremely loud radios and no manners what-so-ever, it really was petty and was worth doing something different to get out of the rut of day-to-day living.

There was an area for diving off of a diving board, and and HUGE slide that I went down twice! FUNNNN!!!! Although the first time I went down, the guy right in front of me tried to drown. I was waiting for him to get out of the way when I noticed that he was struggling. Another man jumped in but now two of them are drowning! Good thing there were plenty of life guards. A girl FINALLY jumped in with her little life bouy thing and saved them both. Then, it was my turn! Talk about making a scary event even scarier! I survived, and went a second time. FUN!!

Not long after, a man from the same group jumped off the diving board and had to be saved. IF YOU CAN'T SWIM, DON'T JUMP OFF THE HIGH DIVE OR THE REALLY HIGH SLIDE!!!!!

The Falls themselves were quite beautiful. We don't have very many falls in Texas. And they had an old castle that was built back in the 20's that you could climb all over. We met Bethany, Adam and the girls who had been there since Friday.

Now I just have to recover from all the rest I got! I am a little sore and SLEEPY!!

A Day With the Boys

We are going to Bass Pro Shop in Rockwall and stopped in at Cici's Pizza. I'm stuffed! And boy! The cinnamon rolls were GOOD! We are getting Craig some clothes and maybe some for the boys. Dillon, Sterling & Ryan are with us along with two friends, Brian & Jake. I hope I survive the day!
And maybe I'll find something else for me too.

New Clothes

I went clothes shopping today for the cruise and bought 5 new shirts and a little jacket. I was able to get $200 worth for $100. It felt REALLY good. I have never bought that many clothes for myself. I didn't even feel guilty.

I also bought some shoes for the trip. I usually have a hard time finding shoes that fit because I wear a size 5 Wide. You can get wide shoes in size 6, but not 5, at least not very often.

Alaska, here I come!

Fiddler on the Roof

Bethany gave Craig and I season tickets to the Dallas Summer Musicals and last night was our first show: Fiddler on the Roof, starring Topol! Words cannot describe the feelings that were felt, especially that first foot stomp in the opening song, "Tradition". Oh, how exciting! My hair stood up during the entire song. I just wanted to get up and stomp around with them. It was hard to control myself. And of course I was boo-hooing during the entire last half when he had to tell his daughter that she was dead to him. So sad!

The original tickets were for Craig and I except for Fiddler, and Bethany was to go with me instead of Craig. Craig threw a fit that he wanted to go too and Linda said she would like to go. So we bought two more tickets and all four of us went together. We met at the Spaghetti Warehouse for dinner in the West End.

It was a wonderful evening. Thank you Bethany!

All Better

I want to thank everyone for their thoughts and prayers regarding my last post. I had a hard time and appreciate all the kind words.

After four days of sobbing and three sleepless nights, I was finally able to talk to the boys. I really feel that they were sorry for their actions.

I asked them what I could do to be a better 'mother' and they admitted that there really wasn't anything. I really appreciate the comment from Kara that a mother is not a servant. I thought about that a lot. There is so much more to motherhood than cooking and cleaning. It is impossible to verbalize the infinite amount of "things" that mothers do day after day.

I told them that I didn't want to take them to church any more and they said that they really didn't mind going. (whew!) They will be given the choice to go to Mutual on Wednesdays but they agreed to go to Seminary and church on Sundays without complaint. I thought that was a reasonable compromise. They actually chose to go tonight. And they had a lot of fun. They have a new Young Men's President that is really trying to work with the boys, particularly my two. I am grateful to him for his insight and patience. He is a musician and had the boys bring their guitars and they "jammed" tonight.

I am looking forward to a good night's sleep tonight. It has been an exhausting few days but I am feeling a lot better.

Pitty Party

First of all, I love having a day where I can tell my mom thank you for everything that she did for me. I know that she had one or two rough Mother's Days in the past. I really hope that Mother's Days are much more pleasant for her now and can look back on her role as a mother and be happy with everything that she did. I hope that she has no regrets. Thanks Mom for being a really good mom.

Me, on the other hand, I look at Mother's Day as a time to reflect on what a crap job I did. I couldn't keep up with the housework. I couldn't do the laundry so they all had to do their own. I didn't make them breakfast, I don't think EVER. I didn't have wonderful heart to heart talks with them where they told me that they love me, at least not very often. I can't even get my kids to walk into a church without a full blown argument. I feel like a failure. It's hard to think of anything that I did do right. I worked 2 or 3 jobs and pretty much cooked dinner and went to bed.

This Mother's Day was no different. It started out a typical Sunday morning; the kids sitting around, clothes in the dryer to get the wrinkles out, making themselves breakfast. Since I play the organ, I like to get to the church by 9:40. That means we have to pull out of the driveway at 9:30, no later. At 9:20 I asked one child if he was ready and he just looked at me, while in his underwear and no shirt on (which is totally not allowed) and kept on eating very slowly.

9:30 I said I had to go and went out to the car. Craig got his stuff and came right out. We sat, and then Craig decided that he needed to check to make sure that they knew we were waiting. Here comes Craig and one child, but no sign of the second. We waited, and waited. Soon it was 9:38 and here comes the second child walking very slowly. He gets into the car and I try to explain to him why I need to be on time to church. It then blew up into a big deal that supposedly I force the boys to church and look how going to church makes us all "so happy". But the real kicker is, Craig thinks that I shouldn't be angry after comments like those.

Am I wrong to feel hurt? When I said that I would rather the boys stay home than have to fight them every Sunday, I was told that I was the one being unreasonable. Me. Hmmm.

When it was time for the Aaronic Priesthood to hand out flowers to the mothers, do you think one of my own boys would give me one? No. One made it a point to pass over me. One of the other little boys in church had to give me my flower.

After church the boys decided that they had to go to their mom's. That's fine. They should. Did either one of them wish ME a happy Mother's Day? No. They had plenty of opportunity. I feel that they were refusing to. Thanks. I gave up a real life to help raise them. Who took on the second and third jobs to feed and clothe them. Not Craig, and certainly NOT their own mother.

So, I guess that makes me wonder, what IS my role here? Is it a Mother? Or am I just an ogre with whom they share a home? If so, why do I have to make all the sacrifices and not either one of the "real" parents do? Why don't I get any of the perks of being a parent? Am I truly a nobody? I wonder what would happen if I just quit work, refuse to do all the day-to-day chores of taking care of teen aged boys and stopped feeding them?

I have to say though, my OWN kids REALLY made me feel loved and appreciated. It was a real blessing to be able to spend time with them and I am so thankful for all the very thoughtful gifts that they gave me. Each one of my own children made a special effort to make sure that they wished me a happy Mother's Day. It really reminded me of how much I miss them being around. Quite a contrast.

Next year, I'm going to rent a hotel room and invite my own children to visit me. Then I will not have to be reminded that I am not the boys' mother, not worthy of a simple "Happy Mother's Day", and not have to spend the day in complete inner turmoil.

It's not all fun at The Funny Farm.

Lets Make Saurkraut!

I started a batch of saurkraut today. I started out thinking, "Hmm. This is a lot easier than I expected!" But then, how hard do you really have to smash cabbage in order to get 1-2" of water to cover the cabbage? Pretty hard. Plus, the only uniodized salt that I had was rock-hard and I had to bang the canister on the edge of the countertop.

I'm banging, and banging, and all of a sudden, I banged my fingernail! Oooouuuuccchh!!!!!

It split right down the middle and half came completely off. Blood everywhere. (except in the cabbage)

This saurkraut better be good!

The Trouble With Pink Panthers

Adam went to a small town near Beaumont, Tx this week for work. Last week, a black guy died while in police custody. The area is well known for being quite racial to begin with. On Monday, the New Black Panthers (and in MY world I constantly call them the PINK Panthers) held a demonstration outside the police department one town away. Tomorrow they are scheduled for a "town meeting" in the same town that Adam is staying in. This morning, the high school received a threatening phone call that some guns will be brought to school, and the local hospital received a warning call to be ready for "a lot of high school kids to be injured". Adam was not in the school that was threatened but he was in the Middle School across the street so everyone was in "lockdown". He and a few others had to go into the closet for about an hour until they decided that it was safe enough to hold class, but no one was allowed to roam the halls.

Needless to say, he has now gone back to the hotel room, is packing up and leaving. He will go back in a few weeks when everything has calmed down.

You can read his version of the entire story later when he posts it on his blog. He says he has QUITE a story to tell.

No Credit For Trying

I wonder sometimes what I'm doing.

I agreed to help raise 4 boys that are not mine. It was given to me, I did not ask for the job. I jumped in gung-ho thinking that I was really going to help these poor, poor children who so desperately needed me. I immediately set some goals, rolled up my sleeves and went to work. Thanksgiving Dinner night after night and 3 or 4 loads of laundry a day were the norms of life.

In order to fit everyone in the house, we needed to find a new home. I had big dreams. Even though the house that we bought only had two bedrooms, it had a huge garage that had plenty of space for three more bedrooms and a bathroom. I was determined to provide for the children. I had a business caring for medically fragile children in my home. That quickly became insufficient for their feeding and clothing needs and the overwhelming number of other needs that all children have. My husband was putting in all the hours that he could so it was left up to me. I had to take a second job and the only thing available was on the night shift. The stress really took a toll on me but I was determined to help make a good home for everyone.

The reconstruction of the home took much more than expected, child support dwindled to all but nothing, and we were getting more and more behind on our bills. The mortgage was nearly 90 days past due, and the utilities took their turns each month being disconnected. We ate an awful lot of rice from the food storage. So much that I don't make it much anymore. New clothes for myself were a distant dream, for each fall brought with it the mandatory purchases of new school clothes and supplies costing hundreds of dollars. Shoes needed replacing every two to three months. Clothes were constantly needing replacements. Credit cards were maxed out and the stress escalated.

So much of my life was put on hold for the collective purpose of raising the children. Personal goals were put on the back burner and survival was the word of the day. I was not only responsible for MY survival, but for eight children, some of which were too small to help care for themselves. Tension was in the air and tempers ran short. As much as I tried to teach the children something like 'love one another' or 'many hands make the work load light', it seems that they did everything in their power to oppose me.

Now, things are a little different. There are only two of them left at the house. They still resent me trying to teach them anything but financially, we are much better off. I am now trying to do little things for myself. I get my nails done now, get my hair done once in a while, and occasionally purchase a new shirt or pair of jeans. I've never had the luxury of buying anything for myself without having tremendous guilt for doing so.

So what is the issue? My own children tell me all the time that they understand that I did the best I could under the circumstances, yet these boys express nothing but resentment and sometimes downright hatred toward me. I understand that I am not their mother, and I never want to replace her, but I was the one who sacrificed years of my life for them. I was the one who made sure that they ate when they were hungry. I made sure that they had all the things they needed in school. I gave up everything for them.

For what?

Not to Brag or Nothin'

Not to brag or anything but...

This is OUR garden. Well, actually it's Mr. Chitty's garden but we claim it because we pay the mortgage. The corn got knocked over from the storm last night but it doesn't look like any of it broke off. Looks like it will recover well.

We have already harvested onions, radishes, sweet peas, and cabbage.

In the Closet Once Again!

Well, here we are again taking shelter from the tornados! My goodness! Second time in a week. This time we were trying to fix Bethany's car and the sirens went off. We all got into the bathroom. Even Clipsie and Sadie got in with us. The cat and bird had to fend for themselves.

But once again, we are safe! Yea!!!

If the Shirt Fits...

We found this shirt at Wal-mart and thought that Craig NEEDED it! It really fits, doesn't it?

We asked the boys what we all learned from this experience. Ryan promptly answered "Don't play with fire!" But after much thought, Dillon stated (more under his breath than out loud) "read the label."

Well, at least we all learned SOMETHING!

Swine Flu in Texas

Many schools are closing down for a few weeks and all sports and academic programs that require travel have been postponed statewide due to the increasing number of swine flu cases. Many countries are scrutinizing American travelers for symptoms of the flu.

All I can say is... IF I DON'T GET TO GO TO ALASKA NEXT MONTH, I'M GOING TO BE MAJORLY TICKED!!!!!

Tornado Warning

We all just had to spend an hour in the closet at school this morning. A tornado went directly overhead. We have a lot of bad weather in this area but that was the first time we ever had to "hunker down" at school.

A few years ago, the day that our house was hit by lightening and fried everything that was grounded (a whole other story), that night, in the middle of the night, the sirens went off. We had a hard time getting everyone to stay in the bathroom because they were all asleep and kept getting up to go to bed! We found out later that someone had hit the wrong button. Not sure if that was true or not.

But we are all safe once again! Yea!

Here we all are in the closet!

A Little Clarification

I figured that I had some "splainin'" to do after I wrote my column entitled, "What Do You Say When...". I realized after mom called me that maybe I should clarify a few things.

First, the divorce that I spoke of was my first husband, not Craig. Craig says everybody just better get used to him 'cause he's going to be around for a LONG time.

The IRS was mistaken. I only made $15,000 that year. It was Steve's bill that was $15,000. But it sure made me think about how I was going to fight with the IRS. Not a good situation. But I am cleared of that bill.

Linda does not "live" with a man. She has a male roommate. They had decided to be roommates before they even met. They met on roommates.com. He has a girlfriend, and she dates other guys. Strange, but true.

As far as CPS goes, Craig's ex-wife sicked them on us because she decided that she didn't want to pay child support any more. We were cleared of all charges, including abuse and neglect. We found out it was her that turned us in when we were called to court to discuss why she wasn't paying just days after CPS was at our house. NOT a fun time in my life. I had no idea why anyone would think such horrible things about me and Craig. Still makes me sick to think about it. I think we still had seven kids at the house. The thought of losing them was horrific.

I started out writing this with funny things that have happened and for some reason, it got darker and darker the more I wrote. I guess I needed some therapy!

Hope this helps to clear things up a bit. And yes, EVERYTHING is true! Still plenty more to come!

My Fleas

Here are the two fleas I got out of that pile of junk shown earlier. I'm going to put some old dolls and toys on the chair. The bucket is rusted out on the bottom so I'm going to plant some flowers in it and hope they survive the Texas summer.

I thought that this little thing was adorable! He rocks back and forth in the wind and you can't really tell in this picture but his belly is actually a big rock. I bought him at a "new" store. Not a flea.

New Fleas!!!!

Craig & I went to Fredericksburg over the weekend to attend a VW show. While visiting the small German town, we stumbled across a new flea market. New Fleas!!!!

I got me a couple of fleas. I'll post pictures of them later. If you look really close, you might be able to see what I bought!

Does anyone else think these doll parts are creepy? Note that there are doll parts in the hanging jars in the forefront! There were doll parts EVERYWHERE in this booth. This is just one area. Some people wouldn't go in because it was just too weird!

Craig & I discovered that we eat a hamburger in the same way! I know. We're pretty weird too!

My Smart Little Cookie!

We just found out that Adam's oldest, Sophia, got accepted into a prestigious school. She competed against about 300 other children for 22 open slots. She needed to know how to write her name, count up to 10 objects, draw a picture of a person with correct body parts, and a few other things that we don't know because her interview was behind closed doors.

She turns 4 the end of August, and the cut off for birthdays is September 1, so she is one of the youngest in the class.

I guess she did pretty well because she got 97% correct. Well done Sophia! And good job Adam & Ayasha for the prep work!

My Gorgeous Tan!

I've been trying to tan lately for what reason I'm not so sure. I've been going to a Super Bed with the maximum time being 12 minutes. Well, I've worked my way up to the full 12 minutes now but yesterday I went in after a whole lot of other people had gone. I think the air temp was at least 250 degrees in the room. I felt overheated just getting my clothes off. As soon as I turned the bed on I felt that something was wrong. I was cooking. Seriously. And like the dummie that I am, I stayed the entire 12 minutes! What was I thinking?!? I got sick to my stomach, my face was beet red, and I wasn't thinking right.

But... I have a beautiful tan!

Tea Party

How come I wasn't invited to this tea party? I didn't know anything about it until about 9pm last night. I want to protest taxes too.

And what type of tea would I like? Why, Celestial Tea, of course!